Analogue Showergel

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:43:04 GMT

Last night, my brother celebrated his 28th birthday at Salt's Whisky Bar on Edgware Road. Bizarre venue.

Perhaps the oddest thing was that this group of late-twentysomething lads (and I) were the only ones drinking Whisky at all. There was initially one table of Asian women in eastern dress, then one guy replaced them and nursed a single glass of wine for about 1.5 hours, occasionally playing games on his phone with the sound up. Avoiding the wife? Other clients were wine and beer only, and the place was half empty.

Our loyalty to the core values of the venue was noted by the DJ, who enquired what my brother's taste in music was henceforth quick to up the cheese count, playing that Ha-ppy Birth-day to You song (is it Stevie Wonder?), followed later on by Do the Hustle. I was surprised to recognise this song from its introduction only, as it's not my kind of thing. I impressed those assembled. The 70s tracks were far more appropriate to a whisky bar setting than the default playlist of indifferent contemporary drum-and-bass, played far too loudly for any pub, but especially one ostensibly aimed at those with good taste.

Service was friendly though occasionally sluggish and the prices far from giveaway (cheapest shot, £3.50; most expensive at least £16), plus optional 12.5% service charge. We declined to pay most of this. Having said that, El had a lovely time and the food was cheap and acceptable. Possibly worth investigating in future, if there are comparable venues to compare prices.

The real disappointment of the night was The Tyburn, the Wetherspoon's at Marble Arch with terrible food, I understand. Fortunately, my late arrival precluded any involvement in that fiasco.

Learning the hard way

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:43:24 GMT

Today has been filled with more challenges than most. I describe them on my Twitter (@pubby). The one that's taken the longest time to sort out, however, has been getting Epson Print CD to work with Snow Leopard 10.6.2 on the new iMac. I've got an old(ish) Epson Stylus Photo R800 and I've reinstalled the driver numerous times, only to have Print CD crash out as soon as I launch it.

Turns out (thanks to one comment on the Apple discussion site) that it's caused by a font conflict rather than anything to do with the printer.

My font collection is irrelevant to me. I use Helvetica and that's about it, but dad's more print-oriented. As such, I've got some fonts that I acquired in the early 1990s and are still knocking about in the Fonts folder. Duplicate fonts confuse programs, so I had to use Font Book to disable the duplicates. This was very easy.

I wish Epson had put something on their support pages to that effect. It would have saved me a load of time.

This has been a public service announcement.

ross

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 22:20:13 GMT

… has had a bad experience or two lately, some of which are all the more unforgivable for being repeat performances, encores of disappointment.

I seem to find that whatever shit pisses me off, it doesn't keep me down for very long. I seem quite resilient, like a quality pillow. I'm lucky.

--

I wrote this a few days ago, but Safari and Rich Text editor don't seem to like one another. Since writing, things have got worse, and more expensive.

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 13:21:56 GMT

Not on here too much these days, am I? Anyway, I was having a read of my friends page, and would like to lift this from jockbdboy

gearjock wrote a wonderful post the other day about wealth...what it means to be rich. It's something that I'm learning doesn't come from a paycheck at all. It comes from the people I surround myself with, the people I open up to and who respond in kind. It's the people who will take my worries, and thoughts in confidence and not blast them around the city in an aim to ostracize me from the community. I feel truly blessed to have those people in my life...I feel wealthier now than I've ever felt before. The ones who stuck up for me and stuck THROUGH for me. And those people exist all across the US and several foreign countries. Thanks y'all so much for that. Because I honestly don't know what I would have done without you guys.

Sort of sums up how I feel about my friends, and those attending my little gathering tomorrow. I'm not a numbers man (despite being a natural born acc*untant), but the quality of friends I have is something to behold.

Unfortunately, yet understandably as I never post any more, jockbdboy doesn't follow me, so I doubt he'll see my reference.

Thanks for reading, if you have. x

A week

Sat, 16 May 2009 17:21:15 GMT

A week of suspense, rejection, abuse, defamation, underappreciation, unpleasant surprises, unfocussed knowledge that I can do better, loneliness, drifting and fail. A week where seeds I've inadvertently planted yielded sour fruit, revealed only after the fruit salad has been dished up and consumed by restaurant critics unnamed.

To be measured against a sliding scale that is open to any convenient interpretation is a form of bullying.

To find out one is not satisfactory is one of the greatest disappointments I have to face, and I should know before it comes to the crunch.

Too late to do anything about that now.

I thought I was past the stage where I'd say people were out to get me, but I am genuinely not sure.

Yet the 'usual suspects' are there for me, online and, more rarely than I'd like, in the real world. But being great people, they ask little of me, so it's hard to disappoint.

As I only get Russians adding me these days…

Sun, 03 May 2009 10:35:18 GMT

Приветствия к всем моим русским следующим. Я испуган я не говорит русского, но если вы хотел были бы прокомментировать в английском, то я был бы счастлив ответить.

Greetings to all my Russian followers. I'm afraid I don't speak Russian, but if you'd like to comment in English, I'd be happy to respond.

(Autotranslated using Mac OS X Dashboard.)

Why Reggie Perrin isn't any good

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:32:24 GMT

I rate The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin (1977) as probably the greatest British sitcom. For those of you unfamiliar, it's about a middle aged middle manager who has a nervous breakdown with the repetition of his commuterville existence. It starred the amazing Leonard Rossiter with a strong supporting cast.

The BBC are now showing their reworking. Here's why I don't like it.

The performances are not as good. Blander. Sorry but despite being competent comic actors, they cannot hold a candle to the originals. Martin Clunes could have pulled this off, except…
There's no time for gags to develop. They've rushed straight in to the breakdown, whereas the original showed the decline happening slowly. The justification was within the programmes; here, it's been taken as read.
The emphasis is on giving everyone something funny to do, compared to the original where people behaved 'normally' and Reggie reacted to them. The supporting cast are going for laughs from the start. This is a distraction.
The series has no style, due mainly to its hurried approach. For instance, in the original Reggie would walk down Coleridge Close, Elizabeth Barrett Browning Cul-de-Sac etc. with Ronnie Hazelhurst's briliant variations playing over the top. No time for such beauty and pacing in the 2009 version. In their place, we have knob gags and swearing. Not like me to be a prude, but there we go.
The show seems anachronistic and technically wrong. Whilst the original doubtless reflected British industry at that time (and the railway services accurately!), in this one, the corporation for which Reggie works feels false, and the train routes are wrong. Reggie would not travel in to Waterloo from Coulsdon. FFS.

At least they kept the main theme for the show, albeit 'modernised' to remind us unnecessarily we're not in the paradise of the original. Now there's irony.

So all in all, epic fail. What a pity. I wish Richard and Judas had had me on so that I could have ranted about it on air!

Two unrelated notes

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 02:00:52 GMT

My friend rang today and we talked bollocks for nearly 4 hours. Why don't I ever have a relationship with that much of a spark? Not enough shared history with people I've just met, along with other things…
Big but necessarily gentle hugs to ross.

#Amazonfail

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 20:14:41 GMT

I'm coming out of LJ hibernation because of the Amazon GLBT controversy: http://markprobst.livejournal.com/15293.html?view=72893#t72893

It sickens me that, in 2009, a worldwide bookshop, one of the highest achievements humanity has yet produced for the dissipation of knowledge besides the web itself, feels the need to censor its users from possibly seeing a GLBT adult book in the bestseller list. Grow the fuck up.

On the other hand, this may be a good opportunity for an alternative that actually has principles.

Interaction

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 00:28:23 GMT

I don't think anything is more important to me than the time I spend with other people. My next three weeks will be filled with trips, gigs, theatre, friends and residential meetings. What will make these events interesting (or in some cases, bearable) is the company. There can be no greater privilege as a conscious being.

Bolt (3D)

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:35:45 GMT

Exploding onto our cinema screens like a crazy mix of The Truman Show, Galaxy Quest and Lassie, it's Disney Animation's Bolt, presented in 3D.

First off, I know 3D doesn't work for me because I don't have stereoscopic vision. No criticism there.

However, what we have is a sentimental, non-funny film that doesn't have a lot to say. It looks good and may entertain the kids (not the child who was running around the auditorium, clearly), but it's so bland and safe compared to such masterpieces as Toy Story 2 and Wall-E that it isn't really worthy of anyone's time, certainly no adult's. Even the voice artists, usually punchy and proud, were middle-of-the-road and passionless.

The opening short, drawn from Cars, also looked good but was still very forgettable. And they couldn't get Owen Wilson back to reprise his role.

Cineworld Trocadero, London, Screen 2: the presentation was immaculate. Cineworld have really sorted themselves out over the last few months. The sound in this particular auditorium is especially clear. This was where I saw Role Models. The laughter was embarrassingly less on this occasion.

The evening's food was provided by Zizzi, The Strand. Excellent.

Comedy

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:17:45 GMT

Comedy has provided two things of note today.

zooniverse invited me to see Mark Watson, Alex Horne and Tim Key do their game show at the Fremantle building in Stephen Street. This must be one of the smallest television studios in London, but has a nice atmosphere. The show is called "We need answers!" and is based around things people text to anyquestionanswered. The guests were a woman whose name I cannot remember (she was the immensely patronising presenter who did the Railway Walks series last year) and Robert "Kryten" Llelwellyn (sp.). They are asked questions and had to answer them. Plus there was a thing with eggs.

You'd think there would be easy laughs to be had all evening by reading out idiotic questions, like GCSE-level Jasper Carrot. Not so.

The questions asked don't really give QI a run for its money, and the format reluctantly has to include numerous facts (apparently against the wishes of the writer/performers) to be sufficiently highbrow for BBC4. But despite the imaginary-focus-group BBC hamstringing, the three hosts are dazzlingly funny both on and off camera. Mark Watson holds the programme together, with Alex Horne (think Phil Kaye crossed with Dave Gorman crossed with Scroobius Pip) playing in bizarre PowerPoint graphics, sound effects, statistics and interruptions. Tim Key asks the questions, bursting through the wall in his questionmaster's chair. What astonished me about Tim Key is how he can make pauses, and silence, funny. You hang on his every word and gesture. I must see more of him, especially. So, despite the tedium that comes with a BBC TV recording where everything has to hashed and rehashed to tired perfection, this was a very enjoyable evening. The warm-up was good too, and reminded me of one of the engineers at work.

The other thing was a lovely quote from The Office:

Pam's parents are separating. A remark by Jim (her fiancee) has made her father decide to move into his own apartment. Jim pleads ignorance of making incendiary remarks.

J: So what did he say? … Was it my fault?

P: Yeah … He said that you told him how much you love me. About how you feel when I walk in a room. And about how you've never doubted for a second that I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I guess he'd never felt that with my mum even at their best.

I cried.

</lj>

White pride?

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:35:57 GMT

I received an email from a mailing list (which I hasten to add was completely off-topic) headed White Pride. It claims to be Michael Richards' speech after he was castigated for using racist jokes, or something.

Look it up on snopes if you're interested—I don't have any inclination to post it here—but I have two unoriginal observations:

1. The reason it is more socially acceptable for ethnic minorities to call white people things like 'honkey' is that they are just that: minorities. There is no history of non-whites oppressing or denigrating whites.

2. It is meaningless to be proud of something you had no choice over. I am happy to be white (in a majority) and gay (in a minority), but I am neither proud nor ashamed, neither superior nor inferior. I had no say in the matter. The misnomer of gay pride, however, at least serves a purpose, to give confidence and voice to a till-recently oppressed (UK)/currently oppressed (US) minority. And yes, I saw Milk last night (superb).

Writer's Block: You Wouldn't Understand

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:50:05 GMT

Almost everyone coins or uses expressions that make sense to only a few people. What word or phrase do you use most often that you have to explain the meaning of to others?

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Gricer (n.): Trainspotter or other railway enthusiast, used in former Southern region. Cf. Cranker, same meaning, used in former Western region of British Rail.

Writer's Block: You Wouldn't Understand

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 00:46:53 GMT

Almost everyone coins or uses expressions that make sense to only a few people. What word or phrase do you use most often that you have to explain the meaning of to others?

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Norby (n.): Derived from Norbert Colon, a Viz magazine character who's "even meaner than a Scottish person", although he considers himself careful, that's all.

Any display of moneysaving, or even mild prudence (vouchers for lunch, taking sandwiches out the bin after a meeting, faking one's birth certificate to obtain a free bus pass or taking a date to the Arndale centre to watch the lifts) attracts the epithet norby.

tabbyTomsk

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:12:24 GMT

Following ross 's news, please come home Tomsk!

tabbyTomsk

Saturday

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 15:32:26 GMT

Yesterday was strange and amazing.

Firstly, dad came home with the VW Scirocco that I suggested he look at, as suggested to me on a fitlads forum post, with comments that a 70-year-old really shouldn't be driving an Audi TT and that it would be a bit low for him. He parked the delivery-plated deep blue car on the drive. I gave my approval to the aesthetics and seating. It was surprisingly comfortable in the back for a 2 seater sporty model—even ross might be able to squeeze in! Pretty good economy too. He bought it. Sorted. We get it Friday.*

*Actual car may not match photo.

Earlier that day, I had decided to bid on the eBay auction for a first edition of Will Hay's 1935 book Through My Telescope. Will Hay remains Britain's most successful film comedian (artistically), coming from the same stable that produced Chaplin and Laurel, but was also a keen astronomer and aviator. It's remarkable how, at the same time he was topping the box office charts, he was also undertaking serious academic research and teaching Amy Johnston to fly! He's someone we should look up to (literally at one time).

I updated my facebook status with my intentions regarding the book, and Robin Ince commented suggesting a bidding war might start. Bugger, I thought, and I increased my maximum bid before I went out.

After dinner (lamb chops, yum), I got on the train at Watford Junction and thought I saw Robin Ince sitting just along from me. After much deliberation I approached him when he returned from the lavatory (sorry, Robin's not royalty) having left his bag unattended, which you must never do. We had a nice chat about Will Hay, missing bits of films, Paul Merton's high standards in theatrical presentation of academy-ratio material,* Robin's upcoming tour, Letchworth (where he was en route to perform), vintage mediums, my upcoming date and choice of pub (of which more later) and Jonathan Meades. This was in the space of 5 minutes. His brain seems to work in overdrive, turbo, sports setting, and he was as charming and eloquent as he was interesting and breakneck, not showing the slightest level of "Can't you see I'm reading" when approached by a fan. He must have been brung up well good. It was lovely to meet him properly. He seems to be spearheading the otherwise amorphous movement against dumbing down, religion and junk science. Comedians are driving the new renaissance.

* Geekery corner: Silent films were framed at 1.33:1, i.e. only slightly wider than they were high. When soundtracks were introduced alongside the picture on 35mm film, the image was made perfectly square, so black bars were inserted top and bottom to restore the 1.33:1 ratio. In the 1950s, wider screens became fashionable, either with anamorphic lenses on 35mm film, using the full size of the frame (projected at 2.4:1), or by using thicker black bars and a non-anamorphic lens to give a projection ratio of between 1.66:1 and 1.85:1. Most cinemas therefore use a 1.66:1 aperture which will mask a lot of a silent film frame.

I remember the one boyfriend of mine that Hertfordshire has yet supplied parking up in one of Letchworth's broad, broad-leafed avenues and remarking that it was his aspiration to live there. He later moved to Stotfold, a historic yet characterless village on the wrong side of the Bedfordshire border.

Which brings me on nicely to my date. We arranged to meet in The Rising Sun on Tottenham Court Road. A very neutral pub for a first meet. After a couple of drinks, we headed to 79CXR, then Comptons and the Admiral Duncan where we stayed till last orders. He was fairly new to the London 'scene', having grown up in Cheshire, and hadn't visited any of those pubs. It was nice to be a bit of a tourist guide.

Introducing people to 79CXR is always fun, because of its seedy reputation. Whilst the toilets are usually full of gay men doing what gay men like to do, they're usually clean and that night were in a much better state than the Duncan's with the broken glass on the floor. 79CXR is a good value independent pub (G&T £2.50) and it's always fun to watch guys standing at the long 'observation' gallery, not talking to anyone, just watching, watching…. We managed to get the corner seat upstairs, which I've discovered, since the refurb in which the prevailing red has been diluted with dark grey, has a cold water pipe above from which condensation drips.

I feel we hit it off well and we had a very enjoyable evening, after we broke the ice. There was an increasing amount of kissing as more G&Ts were consumed. He was dressed very stylishly, not wearing the sort of streetwear/scally look that I tend go for and adopt, although he said he likes the photos of me in trackies that he'd seen. If he would like to meet up again, we may be able to find out how compatible we could be.

All in all, I couldn't have asked more for a Saturday.

And, having distracted Robin on the train from any possible bidding, I won the auction!

I'm due a big update, I know

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 13:48:49 GMT

Before then, however, here's an interesting answer to a question put to B rian Eno.

At the moment, I think I share the view that things generally get better. The latest software update gives more speed and security, people become that little bit more educated, atheistic and tolerant, the streets get cleaner, pollution gets lower, my education improves, I save a bit more money, I expand my horizons.

But as Eno observes, it is just a feeling, perhaps inevitable given my enthusiasm for evolution. It could so easily be turned on its head:

China industrialises and forces forward global warming at an unprecedented pace, rail fares keep rising at ridiculous levels, fossil fuels run out, fundamentalist religion fights for—and wins—respect it does not deserve, overpopulation continues to worsen exponentially, people still buy Mamma Mia! on DVD…

Watford Palace theatre

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:02:16 GMT

End of this week, I hope to book tickets soon for all or some of the following upcoming events at my local theatre:

A Chorus of Disapproval (Ayckbourn) 24 March–4 April 2009, £21.50
Following on from last year's excellent Absent Friends, albeit by a different company.

Barry Cryer: Still Alive Saturday 18 April 2009, £19
More reminiscences from a local boy (Hatch End)

Crazy for You (Gershwin musical) 20–25 April 2009, £16
A jukebox musical with a bit of class.

Jan Ravens: A Funny Look at Impressions, Wednesday 6 May 2009, £16
OK, she did Dead Ringers, but still, it's my kind of thing.

If anyone would like to join me, please leave a comment or pm me. Dates tbc.

My home town

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:00:41 GMT

Following a facebook picture a friend posted, I've been wracking my brains for things filmed in Watford. So far, I've come up with the following:

The Marty Feldman Comedy Machine,
Bruiser,
That Mitchell and Webb Look,
the Nationwide adverts (exteriors),
'Stenders,
Halifax ads from years ago with a Mañuel-type character (Andrew Sachs?),
The History Boys (Watford Grammar),
Little Britain (ASDA car park),
Rentadick (possibly),
The Boys in Blue (Cannon and Ball, Opening scene, Watford Library)
The Professionals

Any others?

Writer's Block: Auld Lang Syne

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:09:14 GMT

For those who are into such things, this might be the biggest party night of the year. Other people like to keep it a little more low key. How do you plan to ring in the New Year?

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I had an invite to go out this evening, but I don't feel like facing the Soho crowds and noisy clubs, and paying for the privilege. My friends whom I invited round blew me out (!!!) so it's a quiet family affair this evening. With lots of Bucks Fizz.

Aussie photos at last!

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:34:59 GMT

Ooh look! Safari has a Rich Text editor for LJ now!

Anyway, I've now uploaded most of my photos to Picasa, many of which are tagged. I'm afraid I haven't written a commentary, yet. Feel free to comment.

Enjoyable!

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:06:28 GMT

Lip Dub Pop Muzik from fredasterical on Vimeo.

Jet lag? What jet lag?

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:19:55 GMT

It's 0510 as I write this. I'm only a few hours out of my normal cycle and should be OK for this evening's gig, 9 Lessons and Carols for Godless People, www.thebloomsbury.com/event/run/1248, which I've been looking forward to. It promises to be quite high profile, going by the newspaper articles I've seen, and another step in atheism becoming more popular and accepted. There are some seriously big names—one might call them luminaries—on that list.

Speaking of luminaries, the Charles Darwin exhibition at the Museum of Australia in Canberra was fascinating. It was great to see several of his actual notebooks from the Beagle. What would one exhibit from today's luminaries? An email chain?

As you'd expect, I have a ton of things to write about Australia, but I'm not sure what the best format is to record them. Livejournal seems to be able to deal with photos to some extent, but it all looks a bit cumbersome. What I want is to drag a photo in, then write a substantial caption about it. Any recommendations?

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 23:56:42 GMT

Stolen from Sickipedia:

I remember when the only job a black man could get in America was cleaning up the mess that white folks made… I guess some things never change.